boys....suck...

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this is what happens when i decide i like a guy who is all wrong for me:

sophomore year, i told a guy acquaintance that i liked him. it didn't go so well. we haven't really maintained our friendship (or lack thereof) up to this point, and i don't really see us becoming friends, really.

that was a really lame situation, and it obviously seemed worse at the time than it does now. what was i thinking??

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this is why i don't tell guys when i have feelings for them:

last summer, i was about to tell a guy friend (1 year older, already graduated and living in mpls) i liked him, and i chickened out big time. i mean big time. then over thanksgiving break, i decided it was time to do it. we met for lunch, and the first thing he told me when i asked what was new was that he had a new girlfriend and she was amazing. a word of advice to guys out there - don't let that be the first thing out of your mouth. i mean, way to drop the bomb when i finally had enough guts to spill them.

then a "friend" of mine a few weeks ago decided to stalk his email address when i left my computer open and proceeded to email him a novel about how i was so paranoid and finally was ready to do it and then came home crushed. i was p-i-s-s-e-d.

we hardly ever see each other because he doesn't live here anymore... and then tonight he called me and wanted to "talk about that email thing and what happened." so i spilled those guts over the phone, which i don't think has the same effect as a face-to-face, check-the-reaction-and-act-accordingly situation.

i thought i had gotten over those feelings after he told me about her, but it turns out that i haven't. which sucks even more because he again went on to tell me just how great his girlfriend is and how much he loves her. i'm happy for him, but come on... could we please avoid that topic for awhile? especially after i just bared my soul to you over the phone for heaven's sake?!?!

UGH.

life is SO unfair sometimes.